getting over Phoebe

flowers with Phoebe in mind

is near impossible.  We still do not know what killed her, what sent her into one, long continuous seizure from which there was no recovery.  We have considered many things:  a poisonous mushroom; tics; and dog food.  There was nothing that showed up on the gross anatomical necropsy and we are waiting for the pathology. Some people have said   “get another dog,” but it isn’t quite that easy when you lose a Phoebe.  Phoebe was just one big hunk of love and as a testament to this, many of our friends have said they felt a genuine loss themselves when they learned about Phoebe’s passing.

Of course, as I did before the age of 15, I’d like to turn it all over to God or some universal design that I can’t possibly understand.  But, in truth, when it comes down to it, what I think is that Phoebe’s sudden death was just part of the nature of things.  Her death being one of the most cruel:  here one minute, gone the next.  Either way, God, the universe, nature, like many beautiful, lovely creatures, gone too soon leaving a paw print etched in our hearts.  And for me, the reminder that nothing can be taken for granted, life is all a gift and as my friend use to tell me, over and over again when I was about 30, “Remember, tomorrow is promised to no man”  (or creature).

©claireaperez@gmail.com

3 thoughts on “getting over Phoebe”

  1. Sometimes there just are no answers.
    When our Yali died (ruptured spleen). I remember bringing her home from the vets after she had passed – I was overcome with a sense of her running freely, more freely than is possible in life as we know it. It was as though she had truly been released from all suffering. I sensed her being received/welcomed by my Mother. I could feel her positive energy so strongly I almost expected to be able to see her way up in the sky. I do believe she experienced what I felt. She was no longer held back by her canine body.

    Sending love and hugs your way -Anna

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